My Comeback (sort of... )

I desperately need to write! Unfortunately I'm having my hands bound, voice gagged and mind numbed by this insidious creature called the Writer's Block. And yes, I've been plagued by it for months on end now, which kinda explains my absence. Ha. Feeble attempt at concealing Procrastination eh... Still, lately I've been feeling sudden surges of literary madness, which can come and go as fast as you can enunciate 'biennale'. Wait a minute, you mean that word is beyond you? Say 'bee-air-nah-lay'. There, it wasn't as difficult right? Anyway, the point I'm making here is that the urge to write lingers just long enough to get the ends of your fingers tingling for the keyboard, but just as you think you have that burning idea encased in concrete, it breaks apart and you're left with bits and pieces of powdery nothingness. Oh well.

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You bade me run and I took heed,
But didn't I fall and badly bleed?
You conjured castles in the air,
But soon enough they all laid bare.
You banished Hope and Eternity,
Thus I wept for all humanity.
Now your shadow lingers in my consciousness,
But I'm breaking the bonds of your madness
With Dignity.

drown ( P ) Pronunciation Key (droun)

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown
Death Cab For Cutie-
Marching Bands of Manhattan


There's a ticking at the sill
There's a purr of a pigeon to break the still of day
As on we go drowning
Down we go away
The Decemberists-
Of Angels and Angles


And I could write it down
Or spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
Or swallowed in the sea
Coldplay-
Swallowed In the Sea


You drown in deeper oceans
Inventing new religions
They smile and stab my back and
I lie and have to laugh
Goo Goo Dolls-
All Eyes On Me


I can't swim but my soul won't drown
Oasis-
The Hindu Times

Insomniac

In the dead silence of night,
Where the Moon,
Strickened with a deadly pining for the Sun
Moved into the clouds and out of sight;
Where the stars,
Filled with remorse over this Moon-less blight
knew they'll never be able to shine just as bright;
Where an insomniac,
Jaded by his sleepless plight
mourned the passing of daylight;
I obliterated the boundary between wrong and right.
For whither was I headed for,
If not the vast runway from which I'll take flight?

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Haven't composed in eons. It's the prelims, it simply siphons off all inspiration!
This was written (typed into my phone and saved actually, 'cos I was just too lazy to reach for pen and paper) in the dead of the night, yes, but refined in the morning haha. See what sleeplessness does to you... funny thoughts run amok, so you've gotta let it all out. =P

Anyway this poetry website was featured in the papers some weeks back.
What really caught my eye were the poems here. Young, local aspiring poets, no less. Splendid works they are!

Mine are very much put to shame, but oh well.
Happy reading. =)

Disenchantment

The thunderous voice rings deafening,
From up above the splintered skies.
Now the anxious rain falls, hurrying
To fill the void, within me lies.
'Now look what you've done',
Was the booming rebuke.
Away from it I tried to run,
But the angered Heavens took
From me,
My lightweight steps,
And dignity.
Now a chasm in the ground gaps,
Beckoning my flurried self,
To seek solace in its darkened depth.
Futher and further I had delved,
Till I'd spent the last of my breath.
Withered and wrought of only bones,
It is in the cold I lay,
Fleeting between twilight zones,
Hidden from the garish light of day...

Lalalaaaa

Yay! I've finally found a chinese webbie that's able to stream songs through WMP. And I've always thought it's impossible to have chinese songs playing on moi blog! That's the case no more!! Yipeeeee! HahahZ.
My very first chinese song here: 阿桑 - '保管'
Have been a fan of her ever since she sang the heart-wrenching '叶子'. With vocals perennially drenched in melancholy, her songs definitely make for good listening on a long, quiet night. Fell in lurve with '保管' the first time I heard it too! HahaZ. =)
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I'm setting sail
To traverse the sea.
But it's of no avail
Without the wind's plea...

To Believe Again

You snubbed the earnest
And scorned the heartfelt,
Then fell head-first
Into the furnace that melts
All that you stood for-
And your cynical self.
You speak of your choice
Which you adamantly hold on to.
But hadn't that familiar, trusting voice
Eroded the stubbornness that's in you?
Now would you dare stand tall
And look Love in the face,
To say that you do not abhor
Its passionate grace?
For now comes the time
When you can ignore the pain
To heed all the signs,
And believe in Love again.
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Ok. So lotsa people lose confidence or become cynical about Love maybe after some hurtful setback, or having some other twisted conviction that it only brings about a vicious cycle of nothingness, and that, in a nutshell, it is to be avoided at all costs. Well. I'm not here to preach or anything, but isn't it a pity to erect this wall between yourself and the green pastures yonder that's abundant with blossoming Love? This goes out to all who've once loved and lost, and may you find true Love again! =)
(Mmm I know I sound like a retard in this post, but the above poem was inspired by another retard's account anyway. Haha)

Post- Camp Musings

If you're looking for a narrative post chronicling the SACO camp down to the minutest detail, look elsewhere. Haha.

So everything's finally come full circle. T'was just a year ago ( somehow it seems like eons before) that I attended my first CO camp, and thoroughly enjoyed it. In retrospect, being in CO and serving in the comm was a wild and bumpy ride; ups, downs, loops, vortices, trials and tribulations and whatever else that constitutes being on high at one moment and then getting thrown into the deepest chasm ever (wow try saying that in one breath hahaZ). More often that not I'd wished I was made of sterner stuff; that the scales weren't tipped too precariously so much so that all hell'd ensue; that it wouldn't be so hard to believe in my very own convictions; that I wasn't so easily swayed... etc etc. A plethora of thoughts, and did they do any good in shaping who I am now? Maybe they did, maybe not. Life truly isn't a bed of roses. (DUH!) All I'm sure of is that I'm relieved to finally pass this on to the next batch of J1s. Let them live the legacy... well if there's a legacy to speak of in the first place! (I'd very much like to believe there is one though =) )

To all my section mates (I'll bet only Kel reads this in the end! Haha), I'll concede that a great leader I don't make. But hey, judging from the multitude of monikers (eg the infamous 'slacker leader') coined by you guys, none of you'd have doubted that! Sorry for not being able to quell that seething anger inside you guys everytime um, our skills were put under scruntiny and came under fire. Is this a fair world? Definitely not. But I've learnt to live with it, a long time ago. Maybe I'm one for peace and quiet... I don't wanna blow things up, get what I mean? It's alright to feel angry... but then where should our anger be directed at in the first place? Wouldn't it be meaningless if a constant 'battle' was waged, with the idea of enmity at the back of our minds? As we've learnt in GP, there can never be just wars, let alone a war which will bring about zero casualties. So now, heed your GP tutor's advice, and proceed with your nuclear disarmament! Peace is all in the mind. ;)

On a lighter note! I've enjoyed each and every one of your company. Very much. If it weren't for you guys, I'd not have known the true meaning of unity, or gotten that member of the month title. Wahahaha. But of course, it's the former I treasure the most, among everything else. Thank you all of ya for sustaining me through practices, for giving me 'face', and for your abundant gossips! Hahaha. I think looking after you guys (if you guys think I've ever done my part at all, that is) was a fulfilling experience. 'Cos according to me, you all are the best section mates an SL could have (and yes the last time I said this, it almost evoked tears on Mel's part! Haha).

Hey wait... it ain't even farewell yet. Which means I have to save some space for later right. Right. Ok. In conclusion, I'll say that I like the new J1 comm, and I can't wait to see them perform their respective duties. I'm sure everyone of them are capable of carrying out whatever they've been entrusted with. All the way! =)

(footnote: if I should sound incoherent to you in any way, look at my blog addie again. See the G word? HahaZ)